


Got No Salvation

by ILookDaftWithOneShoe



Series: Show Me Your Teeth [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AND COMES BACK, Angst, CALM DOWN PEOPLE THIS IS SUPERNATURAL EVERYONE DIES, Depression, Drama, M/M, selling souls cause why not, warning: depression, warning: suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-16
Updated: 2013-02-16
Packaged: 2017-11-29 10:53:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/686122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILookDaftWithOneShoe/pseuds/ILookDaftWithOneShoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Yes, this is tagged Major Character Death. Yes, there is Major Character Death. Do not let it put you off, this is a Supernatural AU. Everyone dies. And they come back to life.]</p><p>So. Thor sold his soul and Loki's a human. Loki should really be over the moon. But instead, he can't stop thinking about that deal Amora offered him...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Don't Get Too Close, It's Dark Inside

**Author's Note:**

> Here lies the start of the major plotline of this series. It started to kick off a bit in Don't Want No Money, but this is the real deal starting here.
> 
> There's two chapters: Basically, the same event from Loki and Tony's perspectives.
> 
> The sequel to this (which won't come as quickly as this) will be called My Religion Is You (I'm A Tough Bitch). And that is where shit will get real. There may be a few one-shots between now and then.

Often, when you lose something, you tend to look back on it fondly. The flaws and imperfections of something become ironed out by nostalgia. Some call it the rose-tinted glasses. Loki would have called it stupidity, at least until he realised it was exactly what he'd done.

Now he was a human again, and he realised he'd put a rose-tint on it. Humanity really didn't have many advantages over vampirism, except of course that Loki could eat delicious things and get drunk now.

The disadvantages of humanity, however, were everywhere. Loki was weaker now, slower, and quicker to tire, never mind his pathetically weak senses and his lack of night vision.

Three weeks had gone by since Loki had become a human again, and the white-eyed demon's deal was becoming more and more tempting by the day.

It wasn't just the humanity; it was the ramifications. They'd been on four minor hunts since Loki had been humanised. On all of them, Loki had been clumsy and uncoordinated, unused to his new limits, and thoroughly unable to do anything useful with his scimitar. On the most recent one he'd left it at home so he didn't feel so pathetic holding it. He'd been working out more to try and get used to himself, but his mental reflexes were shot and didn't match his body anymore.

Loki got tired quickly, to his neverending frustration, and he was rather unfit. Human form: not yet accustomed to doing anything.

And things were becoming strained between him and Tony, or so Loki felt; Loki was usually too tired at the end of the day to do much more than just fall asleep, and he felt like he was letting Tony down. After all, their relationship was built on sex.

(Loki being self-absorbed enough to forget exactly how close they'd been recently.)

Plus, Loki woke up every morning with the full knowledge that Thor had sold his soul to give him this.

_It wasn't fair!_

Then there was the white-eyed demon's deal to think about. She hadn't actually said what she'd do, just that she'd give Thor his soul back if Loki wasn't happy with the deal.

This wasn't normal crossroad demon behaviour. All they cared about was securing souls for hell. Granted, this demon wasn't a normal one, but that didn't make this behaviour any less suspicious. Maybe more, because who knew what her motivations were if not securing souls?

But Loki had wholly lost the will to care, or live.

He'd been living a miserable existence to start with, and now, with the loss of his energy and fight, and what felt like a dissolving relationship with Tony, he was blatantly depressed.

Loki hadn't even seen Thor since their last meeting in his hotel room. He knew he'd just get angry.

_What was the point anymore._

One day, one morning when he woke up feeling exhausted and achey-muscled from trying to increase his physical fitness, alone because Tony had risen and gone somewhere without telling him, he saw his scimitar hanging from the doorknob. Mocking.

It was the final straw.

He slowly, _humanly_ climbed from bed and dressed himself, leaving a note for Tony on the dresser. Then he walked out to the Chrysler, opened the boot, unlocked his trunk, and retrieved the box there.

Inside this box was a photo of himself, a pelvic bone from a black cat, and a scattering of graveyard dirt. Loki had made this box for a different purpose a long time ago, and now it would finally be used.

Because as he'd learned, vampires couldn't make deals. But humans could.

He wouldn't take the car; it wasn't fair to leave Tony like that. Instead he walked a few blocks to the main road, cocked his thumb, and was picked up quickly by a pair of young women who'd obviously seen his lithe figure and cheekbones and thought _fuck yes._

"Where to, handsome?" One of them asked with a Southern drawl.

"The nearest dirt road." Loki said simply, settling in the back seat with his box.

They tried to talk to him on the way there, tried to find out who he was and what the box was for, but Loki wasn't biting. Eventually they dropped him off on a rough farm track and left, giggling to themselves over his accent.

Loki knew there was a decent chance he'd die today.

Loki didn't care much.

Instead he felt his silver knife on his waist and the box under his arm to check everything was okay, then started the long walk up the dirt road to reach a crossroads.

He'd been walking for an hour or two, the hot sun burning his neck and arms, when another dirt track intersected the one he was on.

He was there.

_Bonjour._

As Loki dropped to his knees, staining his jeans, he realised bringing a trowel would have been a good idea.

After a moment to compose himself, he dug his fingers through the dried-solid earth, trying to make a hole big enough. When he had, he put the box in, patted it down, and retreating to the shadow of a skinny, dry tree to wait.

It wasn't long. The white-eyed demon had obviously been expecting him.

She appeared, all bouncy blonde hair and soft pink skin. Looking for all the world like a human being, at least until she saw him and her eyes rolled back in her head leaving just milky white.

"Oh, I thought I'd be hearing from you." She said sweetly.

"Shut it." Loki hissed. "What is the price for Thor's soul returned in one piece?"

"I get you." She smiled. "Name's Amora, by the way. And if you want your beloved brother's soul back, you have to promise me you."

"Yes, but what does that mean?" Loki pressed. "You wish to obtain my soul? Thor's is far purer than mine."

"I didn't say I wanted your soul. In fact, I fully intend to turn you into a vampire again." Her creepy smile widened. "If you ask me. Do you want to be a vampire again?"

Loki bit his tongue. Yes, he did, but saying that he did was a clear show of submission. _This all seems too easy_.

"Oh, come on, Lokes. I'm just asking if you do. Ask, and thou shalt receive." Amora insisted.

"Rather theological statement for a baby-eating demon." Loki frowned.

"We all have our quirks." She shrugged. "At least you know who I am."

"Famous name." Loki replied. He swallowed his pride and said then "I do prefer vampirism to humanity, truth be told."

"Good boy." Amora said with a flawless smile.

In a wave of her hand, Loki felt his heart stop.

And his lungs.

Everything stopped. He died. And yet he was still alive.

His fangs jutted from his jaw.

The sun seared him.

Loki screamed out in horrible pain, feeling his skin start to scorch in the sunlight.

In a wave of Amora's hand, they were in a stubby, dessicated forest near the motel where Tony and him and had been staying.

Loki staggered under a tree, still crying out as a wave of bloodlust hit him and he threw up last night's pizza and scotch on the ground.

"Stop being such a drama queen." Amora said with a mild fascination at Loki's violent reaction.

Mouth tasting of puke and blood, Loki turned to face Amora, retracting his fangs as he did.

He could smell the faintest trace of sulfur, nothing like the normal demon scent. In fact, it was just like...

The girl that had been killed by the 'rogue vampire'. Amora had been pulling strings for a while, then. Lord knows what she'd done to the human, but it couldn't have been pleasant.

"Here's how it works." Amora said to Loki as the vampire leaned against the tree and tried to reacclimatise himself with vampirism. "I've _technically_ just undone the deal. I will change it back, with the stipulation that Thor owes me his soul _now_ instead of in a year. That's unless you agree to give yourself to me."

Loki kicked himself internally. _Fuck shit. She has me now. All I did was create a situation in which I must choose whether it is Thor or myself that dies._

Followed by _How did I not see this coming? When did I become so stupid?_

And then _Thor has so much more to live for than me._

"What would you do with me?" Loki asked. "You made no mention; I know for a fact vampire souls are not exactly a prized currency."

"I'll make it simple." Amora said. "I want you dead. You'll go to the monster afterlife, purgatory. Not only will I have the crown of having beaten Loki at his own game of tricks, but I can get that warm, fuzzy feeling knowing that the other monsters in purgatory will be hunting to hurt you after you killed them on Earth."

Loki thought that over. _I'm missing something here. She's clearly a powerful demon; she won't just be here to play games with the Liesmith._

Regardless of her motivations, he was still stuck in this grisly game. "And if I say no, then you will slay Thor with a hellhound and drag him to hell to be tortured and become a demon like you."

"Exactly." Amora crowed, like she'd been tutoring him in maths and he'd gotten the right answer.

Thor would die. Loki knew that. He'd be killed easily by a hellhound, and tortured until he was a shell of his former self, dedicated to roaming the Earth like a bitchy ghost as a demon.

Or, alternately, Loki would die and go to purgatory, which sounded like (by what Amora had said) just a great big cage full of monsters.

He could run, and hide, and outsmart. It wouldn't be that different to his hunting days, or his first couple of years as a vampire. If he was already dead, they couldn't kill him, right?

But if he said no, then Thor would just be tortured. No escape, no reprieve, nothing except eternal damnation.

Thor was a cheerful, brave hunter who loved his family and friends and made a sincere contribution to society.

Loki was a lying, bad-tempered vampire who was trying to balance out his kill stats by hunting, and who was only appreciated by Thor and Tony. Loki was sure Tony didn't like him anymore, and he was doing this for Thor. So essentially he was nothing.

His choice was pretty clear. Thor could live on, maybe even hunt Amora, and Loki would stop burdening Tony and Thor and stop being sad. Tony could go back to hunting with Steve, a much better partner, and Thor could finally let his twisted mess of an adopted brother go.

"Yes." Loki said, standing as tall as he could - eye level with Amora - and making himself sound fearsome.

"Yes, what?" Amora prompted.

"Yes. I am yours." Loki breathed, his bravado already deflating. He wasn't one for confrontations. He preferred to run and lie.

"Excellent." Amora said softly, teleporting Loki to the tree to kiss him gently.

Loki felt a _something_ roil through him as the deal was made. "You know," He said flippantly as she stuck within his personal space awkwardly. "It was a rather cruel trick to tell my brother that sex was required to seal a deal with you."

"How-?" Amora said, scrutinising him.

"Brothers. I can tell." Loki said simply. He didn't want to move without permisson, but he found how close she was standing repulsive.

"Yes, well, I could hardly deny my attraction." Amora snorted. "He's everything you're not, you know that? You're polar opposites."

"I have been made aware, yes." Loki said uncomfortably.

"He likes to be happy. See, Loki, the reason you couldn't be happy with the deal he made was because you _like_ being miserable. You're so fucking self-absorbed you're only happy when you're sad." Amora said, tone vicious. "You were a human! You could've quit hunting, joined a rock band for all anyone cared! Instead you just decided to mope like the spineless _worm_ you are."

Loki knew it was true, but a small part of him protested. _Not true. I was happy when Tony and I were getting along._

Amora continued gleefully. "The reason my plan worked, numbskull, was because for all your brains and tricks, you're _predictable._ So predictable. Otherwise you'd never have talked to those girls in the bar, and wouldn't have had an argument with Tony, wouldn't have bumped into those rats at the morgue, wouldn't have met Thor, and wouldn't have made him think it was a good idea to sell his soul. So now you're my little bitch."

"Just _kill me_ already." Loki growled, angry at her. And at himself for being so pathetic.

"Uh-uh. I thought I could break you a bit first." Amora pouted.

Loki tried to move away from her, but with a wave of his hand he was pinned to the tree with a harsh unknown force she possessed.

There was puke on his shoe. He didn't know why he noticed.

"The best bit is, Loki, you walked right up to me and practically _asked_ for me to do this to you." Amora grinned. "You're a bit of a masochist. Fortunately, you'll get all the pain you want in purgatory. Goodbye, Loki Laufeyson; you were a worthy opponent."

Loki briefly thought of Tony and Thor as Amora biokinetically severed his spinal chord.

It wasn't a beheading, but snapping his neck killed him anyway.

 _At least they'll be free now,_ he thought.


	2. This Is All For You, Don't Wanna Hide The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's trying to pull Loki out of spiralling depression, but he's cut short when Loki leaves.

Ever since Loki had been made human, Tony had known something was wrong.

To put it in short, he wasn't happy.

Tony could see why he'd be frustrated - while being a vampire, Loki hadn't built any muscle mass, so his limbs were rather weak and uncoordinated and his reflexes were wasted. He was always tired and he could barely use his scimitar at all.

They'd been on four hunts, and Loki had been more of a liability than a partner on all of them.

But Tony didn't mind. He knew it would improve with time, and meanwhile Loki could spend some quality time reacquainting himself with his own body.

What _was_ worrying about that was how hard Loki was pushing himself physically. He did a shittonne of exercise during the day and then passed out at night. He was skinnier, muscle-torn and looking sickly, not that Loki himself seemed to notice.

Tony had once tried to ring Thor, and Loki had snatched his phone and jabbed the disconnect on the touchscreen with enough force for it to make a worrying _pop._

He'd tried again later, while Loki was asleep, but Loki had actually deleted the number from his phone.

So there were a few hard feelings there.

But Loki had been shockingly withdrawn, pulling away from Tony even as he tried to reach out to him. It was like Loki expected to be abandoned at any moment.

In short, every sign pointed to a deep depression.

And the more Tony tried to reach out and open Loki's shell, the more the ex-vampire pulled away.

So he made a plan.

Loki needed a distraction. A big one to pull him out of all his gloomy thoughts.

And Tony had a great one planned. He'd get Loki having fun without worrying about the state of his body, maybe get some sugary food into him to fatten him up, and make him have a proper night's sleep.

But first he wanted to go get Loki some goddamn chocolate from the store a block over. He had a surprising sweet tooth.

When he'd made it back to their motel, Loki wasn't there.

There was a note on the dresser.

And Tony felt his eyes burn with tears when he read it.

 _Tony,_ it said, _quite frankly, my existence is not fair on you, nor is Thor's impending doom a suitable price to pay for a creature such as myself. The white-eyed demon offered me a chance to undo this deal, and it is likely I will take it. Do not try to intervene. If I survive, I will leave you in peace and return to my life on the move._  
 _Do tell Thor how much he meant to me, seeing as I don't have quite enough of a spine to do it myself._  
 _Without me being a hindrance, you are free to return to having Rogers as your partner, an opportunity I expect you to take._  
 _My love,_

_L_

Tony would have scrunched the paper up, torn it to pieces and burned the pieces just to get rid of the words on it. But it said 'my love'. And he wanted to keep it. So he folded it up and stuck it in his pocket.

He had a depressed ex-vampire to find and smother in love before he did something horrible.

-O.O-

Where the _fuck_ had he gone?

It was all very well and good wanting to find someone, but not having a clue where they were was a hindrance.

He could have left town in any direction by any method of transport. Who knew which direction the nearest dirt crossroad lay in?

Tony asked around the small town they were in, but no one had seen Loki today.

As an acquaintance of his would say, _fuck shit balls._

Where was he supposed to go?

Face down on the steering wheel, he pondered his options. Which were few.

He should've put a tracking chip on Loki or something. It was an invasion of privacy, but too bad. Then shit like this wouldn't happen.

Then Tony wouldn't have an icy feeling in his chest because he knew it was too late, but he was going to keep trying anyway.

_He'll turn up, he can't be serious-_

After spending a few hours searching, he went back to the motel room and quickly packed their stuff so he could make a real search of this.

He was trying not to think about what Loki could be doing right now.

_He'll just be messing with me, he does that-_

As he repacked the boot, putting their things around the racks of weaponry and assorted equipment, he had a sudden vision.

And he knew where Loki was.

If he could remember his previous encounter with Amora - which he couldn't, and put that memory loss down to PTSD - he would have remembered Amora's little quirk of being able to twist reality just a little, and he would have understood how he knew where Loki was.

But he couldn't, so he didn't, and he followed what he called his instincts. Locking the car, he walked quickly behind the motel, through a few deserted lots, through a small suburb and into a scrubby, dry forest.

Then he didn't see anything but Loki crumpled under a tree.

"No!" Tony cried out, dashing the fifty metres between where he was and where Loki lay.

He was on his knees in the dirt and what looked like puke cradling Loki to his chest, tears splashing from his eyes onto Loki's v-neck, one of the thin ones he wore that drove Tony _crazy._

Loki was cool, and Tony could tell from the way his mouth looked and the blisters on his skin he was a vampire again.

And despite being completely unblemished, Tony knew he was dead.

He held Loki's body tighter, rocking against him, sobbing into the vampire's shirt.

_This can't be happening._

"No, no, oh god no, Loki, no, _no._ " Tony gasped.

It seemed so unreal. _Shouldn't there be some sad music playing? Or a voiceover? Movies fucking lied to me, it's like Yinsen all over again, I just lost Pepper, and now Loki oh god no-_

Loki smelt like blood, and for some reason Tony found the scent comforting.

_Fuck no, he was going to sit up and smirk at me for being an idiot-_

_Why couldn't he just be happy-_

His hair was so soft-

"No, no, _no-"_ Tony kept saying over and over.

_Hugging him tighter would bring him back, hadn't Pikachu brought Ash back by crying in the first movie-_

"I'm still here, you know." A female voice said amusedly.

Tony raised his head, looked at her through blurry and bloodshot eyes.

"Yeah, well, fuck you." Tony said hoarsely, clutching Loki to protect him from her.

"So _rude,_ Tony." She sighed. "Don't you remember the tea party we had last time?"

With that, she opened the block in his head, giving his memories back, and Tony screeched in both the memory of the pain and in horror.

"Just - just fuck off, you crazy bitch! Go summon the devil somewhere else!" Tony shouted, trying to sound tough while on his knees on the ground.

"But here was the perfect place to start." Amora said, green eyes widening innocently.

Tony just ignored her.

_Fuck this cunt she killed Loki she KILLED LOKI-_

"See, Tony m'boy, Daddy's in a big cage down in hell. And there's a _very_ large number of locks on it. And the first one's very specific - a man has to willingly become a monster and walk into purgatory. That's monster hell. And Loki was _shockingly_ willing _._ Just how did you and his brother let him get so sad?" Amora mocked.

"Shut up." Tony growled.

"It was easy, you know. Humans are so predictable. Now, I can let my father out, and we'll take back Earth and get rid of you pathetic apes." Amora said cheerily. "A war's coming, Mr Stark."

"Why are you telling me this?!" Tony snarled, tears running from his eyes.

"Because there's _nothing you can do._ " Amora laughed. "Sure, Heaven's gonna bitch at us, but aside from-"

"Heaven." Tony repeated.

"Yep. Angels and shit. Heaven vs Hell, Tony, and Earth's the battlefield." Amora said in a satisfied way. "And either way, the humans die."

She'd been slinking a little closer as she spoke, now within touching distance, and Tony had to do _something_ to this bitch.

He stabbed her in the calf with his knife.

It didn't do much, just vaguely annoy her, but she snapped his blade, hissed in anger, and vanished.

Good riddance to that fucking bitch.

And now he had a vampire to bury.

And then he had to get to the Avengers' Bar and start warning Clint, Natasha, Bruce, Steve, Thor, and whoever else would listen.

-O.O-

He buried Loki in that forest.

Every shovelful of dirt brought another surge of tears.

He couldn't be dead. He just _couldn't._

But at the end, there was a grave and a dead vampire in it, and all the denial in the world hadn't changed a thing.

Tony took Loki's knife. His own was broken, Loki didn't need it, and Tony wanted a piece of Loki to take hunting.

Aside from that, he left him how he was, then filled in the grave, erected a cross, and said a few words.

"Loki-" He started, his throat closing for the millionth time with tears. "Loki, you were a fucking genius, and you were talented and funny and sexy and I fucking _loved_ you and I never told you."

Deep breath.

"So. If anyone can come back from the dead, it'd be you. Do it. I don't know much about purgatory, but I bet you'll find a way out. Or maybe I'm just being desperate." Another deep breath. "Please."

Then he left to drive back to Malibu and break it to Thor.

-O.O-

"To Loki." Tony said, feeling his eyes prick with tears for the billionth time in the last two days, raising his beer bottle and clinking it against the other five bottles offered.

Thor started sobbing noisily.

Everyone else looked stoic and sad. They'd admitted to misjudging Loki, once Tony had said he'd died for Thor, and were trying to comfort Tony.

Steve hadn't realised til now how serious their relationship had been. And he felt terrible for getting in the way.

"And to hunting down Amora and stopping the Apocalypse." Natasha added, getting another round of clinks.

-O.O-

_Purgatory._

Loki opened his eyes. He hadn't been expecting to do that.

He sat up. He was in a forest, shrouded in thick mist. It was dusk.

Maybe it was always dusk.

"Hey!" A voice said. "There's someone!"

Loki got to his feet, fast, feeling a surprising burst of satisfaction when his body responded vampirically. Fuck yes. Back to normal.

There were three or four figures walking towards him though the mist.

Loki's nose identified them as vampires, and they seemed vaguely familiar.

"It is the Burison boy, _ja_?" One of them said with a thick Russian accent.

Loki knew him. He'd killed him, back in the Alpha's mansion. "Greetings." Loki said awkwardly.

"Looks like someone got you back." The Russian vampire grinned, pulling a blade from his clothing. "I think you should run."

Unarmed, that was exactly what Loki did.

**Author's Note:**

> Comment, please! The first time I've written something of this emotional scale!


End file.
